Quoth the Raven....

First ma petite's betrayal. To her I am and will always be a monster, not something alive. It still hurts, when I receive these subtle reminders.

Then Musette. Dear gods, where can I even begin with Musette? Enemy, rival, lover, mentor, sister. She begs my aid and my obligations outweigh my hatred. My nostalgia gives me compassion. She and Asher used to seem all but twins at times, in their arrogance, their wit, their beauty. For that reason alone I cannot help but spare her.
Perhaps there is some element of egotism to it. I love that I can help her, that someone so powerful as she would be ruled by myself in exchange for my aid. Hers is a valuable life to hold, after all. Tearing out her throat was simply a message. I have the power to do so.

I only wish the aid were easier. I cannot shield her from the Traveler, nor keep her from him by force. Non, I must bargain with the assets I know he finds worthy of trading a life for. And so, every step I have taken up the ladder feels worthless. This is still what I am, and how I must deal. No one can know of this, if Musette tells a soul I shall make her life forfeit for my secret.

Byron, I realise in the calm of a quiet room as I write this was a mistake. Not an overreaction, for he has to learn that endangering my businesses comes at a heavy price, but a mistake. He is Faust's steady companion, and my fledgling will no doubt be in here tomorrow evening whining, pleading and demanding his friend's return like a spoilt child. And I will give in of course. Partly because I need him to mark Jason, and partly I know his need for a familiar pair of arms to turn to in this eternity.

I miss Asher like one blood starved. Still no sign. I worry, not that harm might have come to him, but that he may have found another territory and left me again. I scan Narcissus' journal for news of him, of all places. Not even he has seen him, too wrapped up in love for his latest aquisition.

I need Jason. I think I shall spend the rest of the night holding him in my embrace, letting his body wash over my chilled limbs, perhaps tasting him again. Letting him keep me warm.

Come home. Please, mon chardonneret.

I need you.

Be for me what you were?

Tonight I would beg for you. To have you, and touch you, and see you. To know that you are here.

I have tried to give you time and space...

To be cold, and aloof and pretend that what you do is of no consequence to me.

But I have failed.

Whatever the battle was you have won it. Return to me?

I know things can never be as they were....but can we pretend? Just for a night? Do you want that as much I?

Ma petite leaves in the morning.

I know she will be with Richard now. If I chose to open the marks I could no doubt feel her breath at his throat, her kiss at his ear. But I have no right to complain.

I was given my opportunity to see her and I refused, knowing that she was going away, that I shall not be the first priority she attends to upon her return, or the second.

Why? Because my pomme de sang had asked to spend the evening with me, and I had already given my assent. I could of course had cancelled. Jason is available to me every night, after all while my petite is a more rare commodity. Jason would not even have protested.

Inwardly though, I know such things break his heart, and it doesn't seem fair to cast him aside, knowing that he would give his every night to me, while ma petite gives only what suits her best.

I owe him the same courtesy, for it will be him that remains at my side in the times she is nothing but the recollection of warmth and softness, and a scent upon a pillow.

So I find myself booked to go to a hideously brash palace of children wearing too much black eyeshadow, high on chemical substances, when I had the opportunity to take a beautiful woman for a night at the opera...

And yet I smile, despite myself.

A Haiku generator... lets try it out.

LiveJournal Haiku!
Your name:	quothlecorbeau
Your haiku:	anything that i asked or needed he lives for me anything
Username:
Created by Grahame

Or this one, perhaps...

LiveJournal Haiku!
Your name:	quothlecorbeau
Your haiku:	my fangs in your throat and do not doubt that i want to make love to you
Username:
Created by Grahame

Revealing, non?

Where to start, where to start?

Jason. My Pomme de sang. Mon soleil. My confident, my most loyal.

Of all the people I hold dear Jason is the one that I trust the most. I will never be a priority to Anita. Her morals always come first, but Jason on the other hand would do anything for me, anything that I asked, or needed. He lives for me, that beautiful boy. With his intelligence and shine he could have done anything, been anything. He chose to be mine.

It is impossible to describe the bond between vampire and pomme de sang, the intimacy that builds when a person becomes your primary source of warmth, your life willingly taken. Their scent becomes security, comfort, the promise of fulfilment and your heart, for those brief moments when it beats takes on their rhythm.

The familiarity sometimes breeds complacency, but never a lack of appreciation.

Do not doubt that I have been making love with you since the first time you allowed my fangs in your throat.

And do not doubt that I want to make love to you for the rest of my eternity.

As it is...

Here it is...

And here I am.

Just Testing.